Not my best work, but I was supposed to write a poem about a toy. I happen to love tops(and slinkys, but I saw the top first), so I wrote this little scrap.
This is a good poem. I like the alliterative structure and its swift tone.
Personally, when I was reading it, I felt that the third and fourth stanzas came across as a metaphor for the struggles that people face in real life, and how we need to get up and face them...
Thank you so much for your kind words! I hadn't thought of it that way; I was being a realist, but I really like the view you took of it. I certainly see how that fits. I'm glad you liked it!
I love how you've personified the top! It's so simple yet gorgeously written and I feel as if I am the top, spinning and spinning around. The ending is so cute! Now I wanna play dradle. XD
I like the end "Pick me up And spin me again." It's so simple - not that I could successfully write any sort of lyric myself and therefore I am not able to properly judge a piece by calling it simple or not - but it could hold more than one meaning. I'd elaborate on that, but words aren't my strong suit.
Personally, when I was reading it, I felt that the third and fourth stanzas came across as a metaphor for the struggles that people face in real life, and how we need to get up and face them...
Glad you like it!
I like this. You should keep these coming.